By Anna Albright. 2026

Some people say, “There’s no point in worrying.”

Others say, “If I worry now, I’ll be prepared later.”

So, which is it?

• At its best, worry is vigilance.

• At its worst, it’s hypervigilance.

• At its best, checking and preparing makes sense.

• At its worst, over-checking heightens the perception of threat.

• At its best, discussing things with others is wise.

• At its worst, rehashing the same conversations repeatedly is like scratching an itch that keeps itching.

There are two kinds of worry.

Productive worry, the one we all want: specific, time-limited, actionable.

Ruminative worry, the one where we drive ourselves quietly mad: circular, hypothetical, repetitive. The psychological hamster wheel.

Whatever variety of worry you have, here’s the number one thing to remember: worry is not a predictor of outcome. It’s not a crystal ball. It has no prophetic powers. What it can tell you is what you don’t want to happen. That’s useful. But it’s not foresight.

Ruminative worry is no walk in the park, and the symptoms are unpleasant: agitation, tense muscles, head noise, and the urge to think your way to peace of mind. So how do you deal with it when it shows up?

Firstly, don’t put it on a throne and make it king or queen. Worry isn’t royalty; it’s a thinking acrobat, jumping from one thought to another: What if? How do I know? Are you sure? But what about?

Secondly, and here’s the contradiction: ruminative worry invariably suggests action to solve a problem. The catch is that it isn’t a problem to solve; it’s something to live with, albeit temporarily. So, your job is to resist the urge to act.

Thirdly, whatever you do, don’t try to stop the thinking. Thought suppression isn’t possible. Tell yourself not to think about something, and you’ve just glued it to your forehead.

So let the thoughts play on, out of tune and uninvited. Some say you need to sit with them. I say just carry on while they play on.

• Do your emails.

• Make your dinner.

• Hang out with a friend.

The less you try to get rid of ruminative worry, the sooner it loses interest in you. A dictator moves on when you stop doing what it says.

And now for the golden guidelines:

• Do your thing even though you’re worrying.

• Remember that worry has no wisdom about the future.

• Remember that thought suppression isn’t possible.

• And most importantly, don’t let ruminative worry hold your reins. It’s fine if it rides in the carriage, but it doesn’t get to drive.

By Anna Albright

Published: November 2017

Anna Albright debunks the myths and shares the important truths about this incredibly common mental health issue.

Firstly, here's what anxiety is not: it's not worrying that your train has been cancelled or that your card won't be accepted in a restaurant. It's not being scared before a medical test.

Anxiety is an inappropriate response to a real or perceived threat. It is a REAL illness that is unpleasant to live with and warrants professional help. As a cognitive behaviour therapist, here are the key things I think we all need to know about anxiety:

1. Anxiety is extremely common

Leading psychiatrist Dr Jeremy Pfeffer says that whatever psychiatric problems his patients have, in many cases anxiety is also present, and according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, anxiety disorders affect one in 10 of us. Some of us are born with a tendency to be more anxious than others, which may suggest that there is a genetic component.

2. Anxiety often causes physical symptoms

I often see clients who have been to cardiologists, neurologists, gastroenterologists – every expert you can imagine in the search for the cause of their physical symptoms.

With a clean bill of health from all these specialists they arrive in my office having been diagnosed with anxiety. Common physical symptoms include:

• Rapid heartbeat

• Chest pains

• Excessive sweating

• Dry mouth

• Dizziness

• Difficulty in swallowing

• Urge to need the loo at the peak of anxiety

• Shallow or heavy breathing

• Shakiness

• Sense of not really 'being here'

3. Anxiety can present itself as psychological symptoms… or 'scrambled egg head' as I call it

When you're anxious, you'll tend to inflate the level of threat. You will tend to see threats where they don't exist. You will have a tendency to seek reassurance that everything is ok.

You will ruminate unremittingly on the threat materialising. You will be dominated by thoughts of how to avoid the event that you're scared of. You will have an unquiet mind. You won't be able to think very clearly. You will be aware of thinking in ways that make no sense yet still be unable to think logically.

4. Anxiety is treatable

If you have a number of the symptoms above, I recommend seeing your GP or heading to a cognitive behavioural therapist. A GP may prescribe medication such as an anti-depressant that will serve to tackle anxiety, a short-term use of tranquiliser for the acute stage and/or a beta-blocker which will reduce a rapid heart rate. Dr Jeremy Pfeffer says: 'Tablets can make it better, but therapy will deliver more long-term benefits.'

5. Women are more likely to suffer from anxiety

Statistics show that the lifetime incidence of anxiety disorders in women is 33% as compared to 22% in men. It has been suggested that differences in brain chemistry as well as hormonal changes may be part of the explanation.

It may also be that women tend to take too much responsibility for the well-being of others, in part due to biology and upbringing.

6. Anxiety is often worse in the morning

It is common for those with anxiety to wake with a jolt as if they've just stuck their finger in a plug socket. Why this jolt of fear? The jury is out – it could be because of soaring cortisol levels first thing (the stress hormone) or the sudden realisation on waking that you have to face the day. I tell my clients to get up straight away and not to lie in bed dwelling.

There is some evidence that you are more likely to think negatively when lying down. Here are some ways to start the day feeling less anxious:

• Always eat breakfast. Slow-release carbs, such as porridge, are best.

• Eat bananas. Those with anxiety often find it difficult to swallow but bananas are perfect.

• Minimise stimulants such as caffeine and cigarettes.

7. Anxiety may be uncomfortable, but it won't kill you

Your body is not doing anything it's not designed to do – it's just doing something that doesn't warrant this size and type of response.

I always let clients know that anxiety is self-limiting. It will climb, will reach a peak and whether you like it or not, will come down over time down. You will not remain anxious forever.

8. Don't feel guilty about your anxiety

'But I have nothing to be anxious about' is what so many of my clients say – they are looking for reasons as to why they feel anxious and may feel guilty and ashamed about feeling anxious. They site it is a 'first world problem'. After all they often have a family, a home, and food on the table.

What they don't realise is that anxiety is a psychological disorder. You cannot get rid of it by telling yourself it should not be there and that it makes no sense for you to have it. The best way to tackle it is to understand it and to understand what you are getting anxious about. Read around the subject and you will demystify it for yourself.

By Anna Albright

Harper’s Bazaar

Social anxiety: how to cope if social situations make you anxious. A psychologist explains how to stop social anxiety disorder from ruining the party

While some people love socialising and going to parties, others can't imagine anything worse. But if it's more than just opting for a good book over going to the pub, and you find yourself deliberately avoiding social situations because they make you uneasy or nervous, you could be suffering from social anxiety disorder. Psychologist and leading cognitive behaviour therapist Anna Albright gives us the lowdown on classic signs of social anxiety and how to overcome it.

What is social anxiety?

Anyone who suffers with social anxiety will recognise some or all of these unpleasant symptoms: being highly anxious ahead of a social engagement, a racing heart, sweaty hands, nausea and an upset tummy, not to mention confused thinking.

“Social anxiety is debilitating, paralysing and unless treated properly is likely to persist.”

Social anxiety is not feeling a light flutter of adrenaline when you meet someone for the first time or speak in public. It is debilitating, paralysing and unless treated properly is likely to persist. If you have a friend or colleague who constantly cancels on social events at the last minute, it may be worth considering whether or not they have social anxiety.

How people with social anxiety think

People with social anxiety tend to be highly self-critical and super self-conscious. To someone who does not suffer from social anxiety it can sound as if they are self-absorbed. But people with social anxiety are not self-absorbed, they are fearful.

This is how sufferers traditionally think:

• Others will think I'm weird

• I am not interesting

• I am not entertaining

• No-one will want to sit next to me

• People who I talk to will think I'm boring

Signs of social anxiety

While social anxiety can manifest itself differently in each person, there are a few things to look out for:

Over-prepping

Certain ritualistic behaviours often accompany social anxiety. Pre-empting scenarios that may occur at a social event, thinking through what others might say and running through how you might reply are common.

Yet as you run through scenes in your head you will only fuel worry. The more you prepare, the more anxious you will become of saying or doing something that will have others think you're 'strange'. And as if that isn't problem enough, the majority of sufferers also worry that others will notice symptoms of anxiety such as a sweaty handshake or trembling hands.

Negative internal dialogue

In all probability you will try hard to read facial signals from other guests but be fighting an internal negative dialogue that says: 'Do I look weird? Is the person I'm talking to desperate to get away and talk to someone else? Do I look like I'm sweating? What will I say next?

Obsessive reflection

After the event, you will probably have an urge to assess your performance and wonder how you came across to others. In all likelihood you will replay conversations countless times and even check with others who were at the same event as to how you appeared.

However, someone with social anxiety will rarely reflect on the event itself but only how they performed at the event. They will typically conclude that they were the odd one out and the only one who did not fit in.

Self-sabotage

Of course if you have a thousand anxious thoughts telling you how to behave and what others might be negatively thinking of you, it is highly likely that you will falter, or stammer or start to show visible signs of distress at a social event.

Tips for overcoming social anxiety

While social anxiety can be debilitating, there are a few ways in which you can learn to manage it:

Resist the urge to over-prepare

Do not write down a list of topics you might talk about and do not pre-empt how you might handle conversations.

Say yes to all invitations

This is crucial for getting better. Avoidance is something we tend to do when we are anxious and that only serves to perpetuate the problem.

Talk about you

Those who suffer with social anxiety tend to focus exclusively on trying to be interesting to others. Change your focus to what YOU might like to talk about.

Ask questions

If you happen to get stuck and feel like withdrawing, make yourself ask a question. This will keep you engaged and give you an opportunity to gather yourself together.

Ditch the analysis

Just as you need to give up over-prepping, you also need to give up the post-mortem of how you performed. If you would like to review the evening – task yourself to name three things that you appreciated.

Remember what comes up must come down

However anxious you are it is important to remember that anxiety will always reach a peak and then comes down. Whatever you do, don't leave the situation when you are anxious, as you will miss the opportunity of experiencing this.

Keep your expectations real

Don't expect to enjoy social situations while you are getting better; however, as you get stronger and build confidence, your enjoyment will follow. Getting better will take some work, so remember to congratulate yourself regularly for what you've achieved.

Mental health support

If you think you might have social anxiety, make an appointment with your GP. Meanwhile, try one of the following resources:

• Mind: a charity that makes sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.

• Anxiety UK: a charity which supports those with any type of anxiety, social anxiety disorder included.

• The Samaritans: a charity providing support to anyone in emotional distress.